It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of July 14th, 2022.
Aries: our eyelashes are way too long if they’re actually casting a shadow on your face.
Taurus: you hate people. You should not be working in customer service. Why are these always the jobs you get?
Gemini: Stop applying for jobs you are unqualified for.
Cancer: Remember, Grandpa has lost his filter. Don’t ask him something that your feelings is gonna be heard by now. Y’all want to know the answer, do not ask.
Leo: Why are you at the airport expecting not to be delayed?
Virgo: Remember not to wipe your face off with your girlfriend’s personal washcloth that’s hidden in the corner of the bathroom for a reason. Why did you even go find it?
Libra: Why does your homeboy think marijuana is a cure for everything?
Scorpio: Your grandma is 62 years old. And she’s expecting a baby. But you try to fight somebody that questions your grandma?
Sagittarius: You don’t understand why people always trying to dumb shame you.
Capricorn: You and your African boyfriend have a communication problem. He was talking about a goat. And you thought he was talking about the greatest of all time.
Aquarius: You just run into a Trump supporter who says he has nothing against black people. He just doesn’t like Mexicans, Muslims, Asians, Jews. Everybody. Yeah, everybody in South America, South America. Yeah, but he’s not racist, though.
Pisces: You just found out your girlfriend slept in your bed with a friend of yours and your piss because they just walk in they just sleep on the floor.
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Russ Parr Morning Show’s Daily Horrorscope For July 14th, 2022 was originally published on blackamericaweb.com