Robert Leigh Pruitt II offers 30+ years of supporting youth & adults in clarifying their vision; connecting their minds, bodies, & souls; and transforming their lives. Pru has worked in India, Africa, and the UK; has hosted shows on Sirius XM & VoiceAmerica and has worked with OWN & Matador Content, and authored 9 books.
In our new segment “Get Into It With Pruitt” Pruitt explains to us the difference between clinical psychology and a life coach and answers a question from a listener. Say hello to trust issues and fear. Listen below:
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Russ Parr: Listen, you know, one of the things that has always been an issue for me is that there’s so many of us, especially people of color, that don’t really like to seek help, to get counseling or whatever to resolve their issues, you know, they, they have their typical, I’ll talk to my pastor, and so on, so forth. And sometimes it helps to talk to a professional. And on the phone my right now he’s a life coach. His name is Robert Pruitt. And, and, Robert, I want to ask you, what is the significance of having a life coach? Is there a difference between that and a clinical psychologist?
Robert Leigh Pruitt: Well, a clinical psychologist more often than not takes a different approach, right. And in that genre, what you’re looking for is what’s underneath the issue or the challenge that you face. And there are a bunch of different methodologies that can be used. In my coaching practice. I use the strength-based empowerment approach, which some psychologists and sociologists, and behaviorists will use, which just simply means you have both the question and the answers. So I’m not going to speak for other life coaches, but what I know is that I support you in creating a conversation that aid you in seeing things in a different way connecting to what matters, and then taking action that you say you’re committed to taking. So that way, it comes from the inside, not the outside.
Russ: Alright, so a lot of you that are listening right now you can actually get to Robert Pruitt, you can go to firstname.lastname@example.org. Instagram is @GetPruitt, Facebook.com/GetPruitt. So I’m gonna test you out right here, we got people that have sent in their comments in their situations, and Tanisha, start with the first one, go ahead.
Tanshia: This is from Cece, she says, I’ve been seeing someone for five months, and everything’s been going really well. But I’m starting to get a bit suspicious about some of the things he does. I’m really transparent in all my relationships. He has all the passwords to my phone, Facebook, and even my email. But when I tried to use his phone the other day, because my phone was dead, he made excuses of why I couldn’t use it. He constantly puts his phone down when I’m around, face down. I’m not a jealous type. But my ex was a cheater. I don’t know if I’m just overreacting. And this is causing me not to trust because of my past.
Robert: So let me first say, I don’t give advice, because I don’t know the deep emotional attachment that CeCe would have to what I might say. So I will suggest something for her consideration. Last thing I heard you say and that was that there were issues of trust that she suspected and that that was preceded by this idea that there was some level of suspicion. So what I know to be true about me is when I don’t trust me, I don’t trust you. And when I don’t trust, I go looking for evidence that validates or substantiates what I believe. So if I think something’s going on, I’m only looking for things that align with that belief, that truth, that idea that thought so one, I would say, Cece, you keep on looking, you’re gonna find it. Number two. What if you did find it? What if you did receive evidence that there was something to the suspicion? What would you do with that information that has nothing to do with your act? So what I’m saying is, you would have all the information that you need, it would be a choice, and given the choice to stay in the relationship to have conversations that continue to be transparent, to accept what he’s done and stay in the relationship or release herself from that commitment. Because all the relationship is for me is a commitment. So let’s just assume CeCe that you have the evidence that substantiates that suspicion. Right now, what would you do with that? What choices are available? And what decision would you make that would honor your greatest and highest good and not be about him?
Russ: So the paranoia that she has from another relationship? Of course, that’s dogging her, that’s baggage that she’s bringing into this relationship? Should she start there start looking at herself from that point of view? Or Should she just like, Okay, I’m gonna be suspicious of anybody I get with?
Robert: Yeah, well you know, it’s one of the questions I asked myself in past relationships, from what place that I say yes to this relationship. So if I know I’m coming into it with trust issues, then I’m saying yes from a place of fear, and that that person may look good or may have been the right fit for me in that moment. And what I found in my own experiences, was when I chose from fear, I used the person to mask insecurities I had I used the person to keep distance between me and maybe a history I didn’t want to address or skill sets I didn’t possess or feeling less than so with you, I feel more than without you. I’m confronted with less than she said she came into at least according to what I heard, that she came into the relationship with issues of trust, so
Tanisha: Why can’t you just give her the password? Can we keep it simple, right?
Robert: So here we go. So let’s just make it you with me. All right, I give you my password, you go to my phone. Well, what place are you going through my phone? From what place are you using my phone? They still come back to you. So I gave you the password. But But here’s, here’s, here’s the richer piece. And you asked me about life coaches, and I said, Well, I can only talk about me. Playing with me because we don’t really work we play, I would want to invite you to take a look at what’s going on with you that you need the passwords. Matter of fact, I would even invite you to take a look at why did you give or from what place? Did you give all your information? Was that conditional or unconditional? Meaning I gave you all access to all of me. Won’t you do it? That’s the proverbial hoop or a hurdle. So it’s a condition.
Russ: Oh, okay. Robert, his name is Robert Pruitt. His email address is email@example.com. Instagram @GetPruitt. Facebook/GetPruitt. Here’s the thing. You’ve got a situation do you want Robert to answer it? It’s free. But if you want to go deeper, which I highly recommend, you might want to hit him up because the man takes donations and he knows that he has the ability to maybe shine some light on your situation.
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Get Into It With Pruitt “Trust Issues & Fear” [Listen] was originally published on blackamericaweb.com