It’s normal to get nervous when stuff starts changing in your favor. It can even be downright scary when something you never expected to happen happens. As the old saying goes, “Be careful what you wish for…because you might even get it.” It’s so true sometimes, since what you have been wishing for in your mind might seem like a far-away dream, yet it’s really closer than you think. It might be easy to just go back in your shell and be afraid of change, but what would happen if you just embraced it? Trusted that where you are going is the right direction? It might be hard to fully take responsibility for what you really want, but in the long run, it’s the best way to get all that you want out of life. Why do people sabotage themselves when things finally start going perfectly? It’s usually a combination of fears: of the unknown, of being vulnerable, and possibly even of what others might think of your decision. What’s perfect for one person might be something completely different for another. It’s learning to know what’s right for you that’s the big hurdle. What are some tips on how to prevent yourself from being self-sabotaging when there’s a possibility for success?
1. What are you really accomplishing by just going back in your shell? People always want what they can’t have. For example, when there are no relationships in sight, they want to meet someone. However, when they DO meet someone and it’s going perfectly fine, it can bring some people anxiety and they might back away, longing for the non-complicated single days. Going back in your shell only makes sense if deep inside, you’ve been hiding the feeling that you’re not ready for a relationship. However, if you find what you’ve been looking for, why not go for it? Start dating and see how it goes. Don’t let fear and anxiety strangle you!
2. Is there an underlying reason you’re feeling this way? Think of why this is such a big step for you. You’ve been wanting it and now it’s here – what’s the deal? Sometimes, it’s just a matter of perspective. Are you thinking about the situation in the glass-half-full way or has your optimism waned once the anxiety of change came about? It’s hard for some people to adapt to major changes in their life, but sometimes these changes are needed and they’ll eventually be the best decision in life. It’s just the decision to move forward that is cause for thought and collecting one’s thoughts.
3. Review the possibilities. Is this change something you want? If you’re a list type of person, make a pro and con list. If you’re into one-on-one communication, go over it with a friend or family member. Never forget to trust your gut, though, because if you think it’s something that you’ll regret if you pass up, you’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t take a risk. However, while unnecessary risks can be reckless, the small risk that’s well thought-out is a smart way to make important changes in your life.
4. Talk it over with someone you trust. Would an outside opinion on the situation give you a clearer picture of what you want? Looking at the change from another angle might help it make more sense in your mind. While you should make sure the change fits with what you want out of life, if you’ve been thinking about it for a long time, chances are you just need a little motivation to make the move. In this type of situation, clarity is important.
5. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you’re not crazy for wanting things to change. It could be exactly what you need. However, you do still need to think about what’s best for you and maybe the anxiety is for a good reason. Trust yourself, but don’t sabotage your efforts if it’s truly what you’ve always been striving for. Life’s too short for a strong, independent woman like yourself to put herself on hold!
In general, the phrases “follow your heart” and “finish what you started” aren’t all that far off from the truth. Sometimes, what you really want is something that takes a bit of courage and effort on your part to pursue. By taking risks (within reason) and being sure of yourself and what you want, the possibilities are endless. Just make sure you’re fulfilling your life’s dreams and not putting them on the wayside because you’re scared of what’s to come. Embrace your efforts, especially if your gut tells you you’re doing the right thing, and don’t sabotage yourself or your life!