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Tell us how you really feel about Valentine’s Day Roland. Here are some of his rules:

If your woman is already asking you what is planned for Feb. 14, tell ‘em, “Nothing!” But March 14 will be jumpin!

Ladies, if your man spends $150 on some roses that were $40 a month ago, smack his azz for being a bad steward!

If you have been putting off that dental visit, schedule it for Feb. 14. Nothing says I love you like a root canal!

If your mate says you get that “special attention” in bed on Feb. 14, ask them why the other days aren’t special!

Who gets the best Valentine’s Day gift? RETAILERS! Why? Because Feb. 14 is really THEIR day!

If your woman comes out of the bathroom in a flannel gown after you took her to a 5-star French restaurant, there is NO love in your house!

If your man comes out of the bathroom scratching and his knees and ankles look like he’s been kicking floor, put on BB King: the thrill is gone!

If Valentine’s Day is the day to say I love you, doesn’t that mean I Hate You the other 364 days? So say it!

Why are you mad I wrote “I Love YOU” on a post-it note & didn’t buy a Hallmark card? What happened to it’s the thought that counts?

read more of Roland’s V-Day rules at his blog