Will Alaska’s Real Dan Sullivan Please Stand Up? [Op-Ed]
At this point, I’m not sure how South Park and SNL continue to find fresh material mocking U.S. politics when our political landscape has become such a parody of itself.
Indeed, a lot of the time, it’s just sad and ghetto out here in the MAGA era of our two-party democratic system, but sometimes it’s downright hilarious, like in the case of Dan Sullivan — both of them.
For those who are unaware, Sen. Dan Sullivan, the incumbent Republican in the race to represent Alaska in the U.S. Senate, is fighting to defend his seat, with his Democratic opponent, former U.S. Rep. Mary Peltola, giving him a run for his money, as both candidates advanced to the general election on Tuesday, as CBS News reported.
You know who else has advanced to the general election? Dan Sullivan.
No, no — don’t scroll up. You read the incumbent’s name right the first time, and, yes, it’s the same name as a third challenger who will also be on the ballot in November, which has become a problem for Dan number 1, who tried to keep Dan number 2 off the ballot, because he’s just not a double Dan man, or, you know, because he’s afraid voters will be confused as to which Dan is the real Dan for whom they’re casting their vote.
In other words: Will the real Dan Sullivan please stand up?
According to CBS, the second Dan Sullivan in question, Dan J. Sullivan, a retired teacher from the island community of Petersburg, sued his way to a spot on the ballot after a top state elections official made a decision to keep him off the ballot, accusing him of filing his candidacy with an intent to confuse voters, based on concerns posed by Sen. Sullivan, who was endorsed by President Donald Trump, and his GOP cohorts.
From CBS:
The state Supreme Court ultimately ordered Dan J. Sullivan eligible for the ballot.
While the challenger sought to appear on the ballot as Republican Dan J. Sullivan, the Division of Elections listed him as Daniel J. Sullivan Jr., with no party affiliation. The senator was listed as Dan S. Sullivan, Republican and incumbent.
President Trump endorsed Sen. Sullivan for reelection and called the other Sullivan’s candidacy an attempt to trick voters. Dan J. Sullivan criticized the incumbent for embracing Mr. Trump’s endorsement and said the president was “more interested in raising tariffs on our allies than in lowering the cost of groceries, housing and energy.”
Personally, I just want to see Dan Sullivan squared battle it out. If I were an Alaska resident, my vote would automatically go to the first one of them to post an Eminem parody video that goes: “I’m Dan Sully/ Yes, I’m the real Sully/ All the other Dan Sullies are just ballot bullies.”
Seriously, though, Sen. Sullivan really does have a problem, as his political battle against Peltola is already proving competitive. Alaska hasn’t elected a Democrat to the Senate since 2008, and Peltola lost her bid for reelection to the House in 2024 by less than three points. But this is a state Trump won by 13 points, and Peltola won her Senate primary with 76,119 votes, or 48.92% of the electorate, while Sen. Sullivan won his primary with 65,468 votes, or 42.07%, according to the Alaska Division of Elections.
So, with the midterms in the balance and things not looking so good for the GOP, the good senator probably can’t afford to lose any more ground, including votes he might lose to the other Dan, who only won 3,829 votes, or 2.46% of primary voters.
So, yeah, I see why he’s mad.
It’s still funny, though.
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Will Alaska’s Real Dan Sullivan Please Stand Up? [Op-Ed] was originally published on newsone.com
