She Says: What Women Want
Women want a man who is not afraid to express his feelings and to let us express ours
David says that in the beginning of our relationship I cried a lot. It seems weird, but it’s a good thing. I had a lot of built up sadness from things I was still holding onto from my past. But for some reason with David I was able to let them go. It was a process and I certainly did cry a lot. But he let me express what I was feeling. He let me cry, but he kept building me up. And now he cries in front of me. Not often, but he does. And it’s a good thing. We truly are best friends and if you cannot cry in front of your best friend then who can you cry in front of. Women want a man who is not afraid to express their true wants and needs, who are not afraid to say when they are scared, who are not afraid to say when they are happy or sad.. The great thing is that once we each get past the fear and do express ourselves, our relationships become a whole lot more beautiful and fulfilling and the happier we are.
Women want a man who is willing to be a fool for love!
As women we are constantly judging ourselves, are we fit enough, are we presenting ourselves well enough at work, are we pretty enough, are we stylish enough, are we the best girlfriend, are we the best mother, did we choose the right hair product or the most nutritious meal today, and the list goes on and on.
So as women we want a man who will not add to the judgments, but rather who makes us feel extra special.
I still remember our wedding day, how happy I was, and how David shocked me, nearly making me have a meltdown – in a good way, when he surprised me with a song at our wedding! David doesn’t sing and he doesn’t fancy himself a singer.
But he wanted to give me a song and it blew me away. It was the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for me. Knowing that he’s not singer, but he was willing to be a fool for love in front of all these people meant so much to me. And he’s always been willing to be a fool for me. I remember when we first started dating and after we went to a Knicks game he picked me up and spun me around in front of Madison Square Garden. He has no shame with public displays of affection. In fact, this year for our tenth anniversary, he surprised me again.
At the end of a Platanos Y Collard Greens performance, when we came out to thank the audience, David had planted a guy in the audience who then got up on stage with us and came out with an acoustic guitar (my favorite instrument!) and then one of the actors came out and handed David a crazy-looking bright red, puffy, pirate shirt! Next thing I know David is putting the shirt on, and starts serenading me with Prince’s Adore! I felt like the luckiest and most special girl in the world.
Women want a man who cleans up nice
Women want a man who cleans up nice. I’m not saying that you have to be a fashionista but not wearing socks with holes and the same sweatshirt everyday would help. David knows that when I give him a certain look it’s time for a shave. David and I have been married for over 10 years and yes I still want to be romanced and part of that romance is caring about your appearance. Women want a guy to still care about how he looks because it means that he still cares about how he looks to his girl which means that he still cares about his girl. It’s true. That little extra effort, a shave, some cologne, a nicely pressed shirt will make a women fall in love over and over again. No matter how long you have been together, women still want date night. While I am often very excited to stay home and curl up and watch a movie with David (especially now that we have a four year old and this is a very rare occurrence), I still want to go out sometimes to see a new play or go to an adults only dinner party, and I still want to be able to get dressed up just like we did when we were dating. Women want a man who still wants this too, or even if he doesn’t and would rather just stay home and watch the game, who cares enough about her wants to make it happen in surprising and romantic ways.
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A Maried Black Couple Explains: 3 Things Women & Men Want For Relationship Magic was originally published on elev8.com
